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Can you ever go back?

By Trevor Davis

Woolworths bosses must have rejoiced at the recent rumours that Prince William and his erstwhile girlfriend Kate Middleton have got back together - no longer will hundreds of lovingly painted commemorative plates go to an unjust early grave and the Daily Express' dream of getting our future King hitched as soon as possible might just still be alive and kicking.

But is it really a good idea? Greg Behrendt, US chat-show host and all-round relationship guru, (despite his comically giant blonde quiff), published a book in 2005 entitled 'It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken' and it might be advisable for Kate and Wills to consider that before rekindling their seemingly doomed love.

Getting back with an ex can certainly be very tempting, after all. There's no need for the sometimes-tiresome getting-to-know-you business, the reconciliation sex is inevitably amazing (compared to any of the ill-advised one-night-stands you might have had during your intervening singledom) and there's the smug feeling that you've now made all the mistakes you ever could, thus ensuring a rosy future together.

It's almost too easy. But as big-haired Behrendt said, it certainly was broke; don't go trying to fix it. For a start, anything you might have got up to since the breakup is inevitably going to come back and bite you. If you've been foolish enough to get involved with one of your ex's friends, then you've just provided said ex with a powerful piece of ammunition to use should you get into an argument after reuniting (which, trust me, you will).

Then there's the reasons you broke up in the first place. Control freaks don't suddenly become happy-go-lucky and self-involved partners who never paid you enough attention aren't instantly going to be transformed into attentive, dependable other halves. Mummy's boys are still going to need to be mothered, no matter how hard they try, and the lovably/infuriatingly changeable girls aren't going to find it easy to settle on one mood, all the time (to be honest, that'd be pretty boring, drama queens can be quite entertaining).

People change, of course, and a breakup can often be the catalyst for a very necessary personality makeover. But it's folly to think that an ex, upon realising just how important you were to them, will magically iron out every bad trait, every personality flaw. They might, but if there were reasons for you to break up the first time, then there's a pretty high chance of those issues rearing their ugly heads again.

Burton/Taylor, Jude/Sienna, Ross/Rachel, there's a reason that these things are cyclical. I'm sure we all hope that Wills and Kate can make it work this time - she seems like a lovely girl, and there's the chance that she could be a much-needed injection of normality into a pretty out-of-touch Royal Family. But that which was broken might not be renewable.

Ross and Rachel might have ended up together, but life really isn't like the movies, as much as we'd like it to be. Sometimes it's just easier to not look back.