Dealing with Terminal Illness
One of the hardest things to deal with in life is the death of a loved one. This is especially true when the person dies of a terminal illness – an illness where there is no known cure – and yet there may be many months or years between diagnosis and death.
Watching the health of someone you love decline makes dealing with terminal illness difficult. But it is important to face up to the fact that the family member is going to die and to make their passing as peaceful as possible. Good financial, emotional, and legal planning is also necessary.
The best thing to do is to conduct life as normally as possible. The ill member may require specific care through the day and night. It is important to integrate their needs in as natural a manner as possible. For example, if they are used to cooking their own food and doing their own chores, allow them to continue if they are able.
The terminally ill patient may face difficult reactions from family and friends, and this can be an emotional roller coaster. It is often the patients themselves who are the best people to tackle their friends, family and the medical profession, and to challenge the taboos that surround serious illness.
There are certain practical issues that must be addressed by the terminally ill. Making a will, or amending an out of date one, is important. According to the Law Society, a will should cost well below £200 to draw up. It can help alleviate all kinds of stresses and arguments for remaining family members.
A living will can also be considered. Also called an advance directive, it is a formal written document which tells the patient’s doctor what kind of care the patient would like if he or she becomes unable to make decisions, for example by lapsing into a coma. British law says that, provided that a patient is deemed competent to give consent to a treatment (by understanding the nature and purpose of the treatment) then any refusal of consent is valid. The doctors must accept the patient’s desire not to be treated. Living wills are supported by the British Medical Association and the Law Commission.
If possible, the patient needs to think about what kind of funeral they want. This can provide important direction for the family to be able to carry out the terminally ill patient’s wishes. However, if it seems that such a discussion is not desirable, do not force it.
It is worth finding out about all the practical help that is on offer to the terminally ill and their families. Hospice care can prove a lifeline to families during this stressful period. Hospices are a unique model of care, pioneered in the UK, helping those with an incurable illness to focus on making the most of whatever time is left.
You can be admitted to a hospice for help with a particular problem such as pain or nausea or just go in for a week's break to give your family a rest. Hospices also offer expert care right at the end of life – dying in a hospice can give families peace and allow a closeness that is not always possible at home, where there are so many other distractions. For information on the hospice movement, see the website below.
The charity Cruse provides help to anyone who has suffered a bereavement.
http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
http://www.hospiceinformation.info
