Tea Holiday With Kim Jong-Il?

A trip to North Korea isn't most people's idea of a good time. The country's territory is perfectly nice, its countryside beautiful. But the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea (DPRK) isn't a particularly welcoming place. Its leader is irrevocably reclusive and some would say outright repressive, he has a penchant for making movies, but his country is widely believed to lack the budget to make an episode of Eastenders. Quite simply, you don't want to travel to DPRK, its not very nice apparently.

But to me, that's a challenge. Why not explore my options and consider a quick trip to have tea with Kim Jong-Il himself? The crazy thing is he'd probably agree to it. Such is the shadowy nature of the country that tourists just aren't seen. Journalists report from neighbouring South Korea and few people would even know where you came from. I'd be a novelty, an intriguing character, someone to convert perhaps.

So I thought I'd look into it. I've always wanted to visit Russia and if someone said to me you could nip back in time and visit Leninist Russia, I probably would. So why not consider going to an equally oppressive and shady country right now? Discover a culture few people would know about and perhaps change a few things on my way.

North Korea has a Christian underground movement that often attempts to smuggle people and information out of the country. The figures you often hear about people not being able to eat have usually been delivered by these guys, to whatever human rights agency is interested. I'd love to know what makes this regime tick, what makes people have to do this?

It turns out that getting to North Korea isn't as much hassle as I imagined. Most people believe that it's simply shut. You're not allowed to visit and that any tourist would surely spread bad rumours and negative views. It is true that the North Koreans believe this, but you can still have a crack at trying to get there. A quick check of the Foreign Office guidance and the official North Korean tourism website showed me that is was quite possible to get up and go.

Buts it's never quite that simple is it? The Foreign Office makes it clear that if you visit North Korea you go to Pyongyang. When there, you'll be followed around by a 'guide' at all times. There is the odd chance to nip out to the street undetected, but not for long. Quite simply, if you shrug off a guard you'll be considered a hazard. Therefore, tourists are basically hotel bound if they want some privacy. Tours are coordinated by the state and everywhere you go is carefully orchestrated.

The North Korean tourist site has an intriguing information video, which is relatively poorly produced and uneventful. Clearly Kim Jong-Il isn't quite as good at movies as he hopes to be, but we'll bear with him for a second. Images of kids jetting down (in unison) a water chute, followed by a strange dance (in unison) of people in the square, demonstrates the orchestration of North Korean life. Being a tourist in North Korea gives you no insight, what was I thinking?

It seems that even an unwitting tourist is susceptible to the power of a totalitarian regime, you can't avoid it and it will always be there.


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