Are You in an Abusive Relationship?
Two women die in Britain each week from domestic violence. Many more – the Government feels it may even be millions – suffer violence, cruelty and abuse every day.
But abusive relationships aren’t just about violence. Domestic abuse takes many forms – and it is usually something that, once started, happens over and over.
Abuse occurs in all levels of society, to people of all races and religions.
Nearly always inflicted by men against women, it is a serious and pervasive issue. There can be serious effects on the health, the education and the general behaviour of children who witness abuse.
One of the most important things to recognise is that the victim is not to blame – no matter how hard the other party tries to make you feel guilty. Nobody deserves to suffer domestic violence or abuse.
If violence is not involved, it is often difficult for victims to recognise that what is happening to them is serious abuse; but there are telltale signs you should be aware of.
- Are you afraid of your partner?
- Does he (or she) insult you, belittle you, ignore you or get angry when you take a lead?
- Does he (or she) try to tell you what you should or shouldn’t wear; who you should be friends with?
- Does he (or she) push or grab you when arguing?
- Does he (or she) threaten you with punishments like not giving you money or taking away something you like or need?
- Does he (or she) put you down or embarrass you in front of other people?
- Does he (or she) get overly jealous or spy on you or listen to your calls?
- Does he (or she) use sexual violence by forcing you to perform acts you dislike?
- Does he (or she) mock your family, your children or your religion?
If you are concerned about your partner’s behaviour, you can take action. Combating abuse is one of the Government’s (and society’s) top priorities and many organisations can help.
The first step is to talk to someone: a third party who is independent, who will listen, and who will not judge you.
Perhaps the pre-eminent source of help and advice is the Women’s Aid Federation (http://www.womensaid.org.uk). It is a national charity concentrating on fighting domestic violence against women and children. It offers support and, if necessary, a place of safety to women and children, and encourages women to take control of their lives.
Women’s Aid Federation – 0808 2000 247
The National Help Line – 0808 2000 247
The Male Advice & Enquiry Line – 0845 064 6800
The Samaritans – 08457 909090
Relate – 0845 456 1310
You may find that external pressures such as debt or alcoholism are the root cause of the problem. There are organisations that specialise in helping partners and families of those affected.
National Debtline – 0808 808 4000
Al-Anon Family Groups – 020 7403 0888
You will find that many local councils have ‘drop-in’ centres where you can just walk in and get face to face advice.
