Are You Ready to Start Dating?

Dating should be fun – after all, it is about meeting people and socialising - but it can sometimes be hard work and stressful. To be a romantic success, you have to put in the hours, make some considerable effort and be prepared for disappointment. Unless you are uncommonly lucky, entering the dating game ill-prepared is unlikely to reap rewards.

So, before you put yourself on the market – or return to the dating game after being in a relationship - there are a number of factors you ought to consider.

Unless you are committed to getting onto the dating scene, don’t bother. Half-hearted attempts at romance are unlikely to get you far, and won’t impress any people you do end up going out with. You have to take the matter seriously – but not too seriously. Try to have a good time, too.

Make sure you are ready for a relationship, and be clear about why you want to date. Are you ready to be honest with the people you go out with? And are you prepared for them to be honest with you? This can mean having to be frank about your needs, or it could mean having to face rejection. If you don’t feel you can cope with such things you should reconsider how keen you are for the rough and tumble of romance-seeking.

Even if you are raring to go, dating can become tiring because it demands so much mental effort. If you aren’t having much luck finding the right person, take a break from the romantic whirl for a short time to recharge you batteries and regain a taste for the hunt.

Before you begin dating, you should make sure that you are over your previous relationship. Taking emotional baggage into your next romantic liaison can only lead to complications and unhappiness in the future.

Overcoming heartbreak can sometimes take considerable time, so be patient and only join the dating scene when you feel absolutely ready. Going into it while ‘on the rebound’ will make you vulnerable to making bad choices and make you a target for cynical romantic predators. You may end up giving yourself to the wrong person, or to the right person too early in your relationship.

Being sure of your emotions will lend you a positive, self-confident air that people will find attractive, and which will make it easy for you to feel happy about your quest for the ideal partner.

If you don’t like the way you look, then can you expect anyone else to do so? Taking pride in your appearance isn’t just about aesthetics, it also helps you focus your mind and helps you concentrate on your dating aims. Plus, shopping for new clothes, working out at the gym or getting a new haircut is pleasurable and will give your self-confidence a boost.

When choosing an image, make sure it’s one you feel comfortable with. Freshen up your old look without getting rid of whatever it is that makes you, well, you. If you try to be someone you’re not, you’re lying to yourself and to everyone you date.

Are you looking for a casual relationship (or relationships), or are you set on getting married in the next two or three years? Knowing your goals will help you concentrate your efforts in the right manner.

Decide on what sort of person you are looking for. Don’t aim too high – the flawless lover of your dreams simply doesn’t exist - but don’t sell yourself short by being willing to ‘make do’. The types of place that you go looking for a date will to some extent define the sort of person you will meet. (Different people hang out in book clubs than in nightclubs.) Have a ‘plan of action’ in mind before you make your moves.

Further reading

See the UK Net Guide articles Guide to Dating Guides, Reasons to Be Single, and When a Relationship Ends.