Couples Counseling

Taking steps to find an independent mediator means that you want to find a solution to your relationship problems. Therapists and counsellors will help you find the cause of your problems as well as solutions; however, it is only part of the healing process.

Reasons to seek counselling

The complexity of human relationships means that they can go wrong sometimes. You may not know why you're having problems, but at other times the reasons for your relationship breakdown could be obvious.

Infidelity

This is one of the main reasons for problems in relationships. If either one or both partners have cheated on their spouse in any way, there will be tension in the relationship. Affairs rarely have a happy ending and the resentment which is harboured can ruin the relationship.

If you decide that you want to continue your relationship, then you will need to confront difficult issues objectively. A counsellor can help guide you towards an understanding of what went wrong and why the infidelity occurred. Counselling can also help you to begin to trust each other again.

Commitment

Realationships can also suffer when the distribution of energy invested in the relationship is not equal. This might be because one of you wants children or marriage for example, while your partner does not.

Communication

The inability to express how you really feel and subsequently suppressing emotions can have a disastrous effect on a relationship. Although you might simply be trying to avoid offending your partner, a lack of communication often just has a counter-productive effect in the long term and causes feelings of resentment to manifest.

A breakdown in communication can have physical effects and a counsellor will be able to get you and your partner talking openly to one another again.

Sex

Many couples find it difficult to talk about sex, and sexual problems can occur because of a number of different factors:

• Stress – this can be related to work or exacerbated by anxieties about the relationship going wrong.
• Discomfort – physical changes may mean that sex is not physically enjoyable.
• Boredom – can stem from a feeling that the relationship has run its course.
• Sexual confusion – questions about sexuality might be affecting the relationship.

Where to get help

Talk to your GP who will either put you in touch with the practice counsellor or refer you to a qualified specialist.