Dating Mistakes to Avoid
During those early dates you will be walking a razor-thin line, one side of which is a happy future with your new boyfriend or girlfriend. On other side is a continuation of single life and more searching for the ideal partner.
To make sure you take the right step, you must avoid mistakes that are commonly made during romantic liaisons. Here, UK Net Guide lists some of the most common errors.
Seeking approval
Few people like a creep – and that’s what you’ll be if you actively seek ‘permission’ to be yourself.
You should pay mind to the other person’s feelings and not run roughshod all over them, but neither should you tiptoe around waiting for approval of everything you do; to do so is needy and will annoy your date.
Be your own person, and your new boyfriend/girlfriend will respect you for it.
Trying to make the other person like you
Try how you like, you can’t deliberately change how a person feels about you. The only way you can alter your date’s perceptions is over time through your words and actions.
Some people will grow to like you more – or less. It’s simple human nature, and it can’t be controlled. To try and do so will seem pathetic or cynical, and it’s certainly a waste of time and effort.
Worrying
When you don’t know someone all that well, it can be easy to misinterpret what they say and do and how they react to what you say and do. Worrying about what the other person meant, or whether they ‘got’ you, is a waste of time. You are both in the same situation, and adding extra anxiety to those early, nervy dates can set a course for disaster.
Avoid, too, worrying about what other people might think of your new partner or what he/she might think of your friends or relatives, your home or even your pets.
Confidence and being relaxed, not agitation, are the keys to creating a relationship.
Being shallow
This means assuming that being good-looking and/or well-off is enough. Some people are, admittedly, interested only in physical beauty and/or money. But most are soulful enough to look beyond these things and be attracted to more elusive characteristics like charm, sexuality and good humour.
If you have no depth, you’re likely, ultimately, to be lonely.
And if you’re not rich or pretty, don’t believe you’ll have to ‘settle’ for someone to whom you aren’t particularly attracted. Even people who have a strict ‘type’ – blonde women, tall men, etc – will change their minds if they find you appealing.
Ignoring ‘signals’
Men are more likely to fail in this area because women are said to be up to ten times more adept at reading body language.
But being able to read what your other half is trying to wordlessly convey (such as the fact that they want to kiss you) is only part of it. You should also be on the look out for ‘red flags’ – signals that suggest your new partner is not the right person for you.
If they never invite you to their home or are dismissive of your friends, then a red flag should go up in your mind.
However, don’t let one or two examples lead you to a premature conclusion. (After all, everyone has ‘off’ days). But do bear your doubts in mind to see if a pattern emerges that cannot be passed off as trivial.
For more information
See the UK Net Guide articles on Flirting with Body Language, Guide to a Successful First Date, First Date Conversation, First Date Style, and Keep Your New Date Interested.
