By Catherine Portland

Do opposites attract or is it important to find a like-minded partner?

Eager to settle this age-old question once and for all, I posed it at a dinner party I held for my closest girlfriends last week.

With wine flowing freely and men banished for the evening, the exchange soon became rowdy.

Jessica, 28, currently single, said she had been convinced people with very different interests were well-suited in her early twenties, on the basis that the partners would not feel as though they were stepping on each other's toes and would each have very distinct, separate lives.

However, after two failed relationships with opposites, she was beginning to reassess her verdict.

"If you have nothing you can talk about that is a fundamental problem. Also small-scale conflict that happens everyday can be worse than the occasional big disagreement - unlikely as it sounds, hating each other's musical preferences can be a major issue," Jess told me.

Karen, 31, disagrees. "It's not that big a deal if you don't both like the Red Hot Chilli Peppers - with stuff like that you can live and let live - but you do need shared values to really work as a couple, I think."

Karen's Christian faith is very important to her and having previously dated atheists before finding her current beau, she is convinced she could never be happy with a non-believer.

"It's so important to me, it's something I'd have to share with my partner," she says.

Sarah, 30, reckons practicalities are more important than beliefs. "The guy I'm dating just doesn't get my vegetarianism. I'm no evangelical but it's awkward when we go for meals and he refuses to cook anything, ever, that doesn't contain meat."

We all want someone who understands and nurtures us, but does understanding have to entail agreement?

Jess thinks so. "You don't need to be two sides of the same coin, the kind of couple who are never referred to individually - but you do need to concur on the basics. Otherwise it's a losing battle."

So what is it OK to disagree on?

Not a lot according to these girls. Individuality is good as long as it doesn't extend to music, according to Jess. Sarah thinks it's important to enjoy doing the same things, while Karen thinks it's only convictions and values that have to match.

In short, my friends, opposites might attract but whether they last is another matter entirely.