Dos and Don'ts of Blind Dating
There are two key aspects to this guide: the dos and don’ts of dating safety – and the dos and don’ts of dating technique.
Before the Date
There was a time when all blind dates would be set up by a mutual friend or colleague, claiming that ‘you guys are made for each other’ or ‘s/he’s just your type’.
In cases like this, dig for information before the date. Get a description of the looks and personality of your prospective date, and try to work out your friend’s motives in setting you up. If you’re unsure, ask around: other friends may know more about the person in question.
You have an important decision to make: do you leave it to your mutual friend to arrange the blind date itself? Speaking to your prospective date might spoil some of the mystery, but it will often weed out weirdos, and save you a wasted evening. Treat the phone call as part of the date: be on your best behaviour.
Nowadays blind dates are just as likely to come from internet dating sites. If so, you’re on your own. Make sure you have exchanged enough emails, text messages and phone calls to know that you really want to meet this person. Don’t give in to pressure to meet quickly – that could mean your date is less interested in getting to know you and more interested in just getting you into bed!
Safety
Treat your blind date as the fun, exciting and possibly life-changing event that it is. It should be enjoyable and entertaining, but above all it should be safe.
Make sure someone knows exactly where you are and who you are with – perhaps the friend who introduced you. For an internet date, leave the phone number, email address and perhaps the pictures of your date with a friend.
The date should be in a public place, one that both of you can get to and more particularly get away from. Is there public transport nearby – or a taxi rank?
It makes sense if the venue is a place the woman is comfortable with. If you bring all your blind dates to the same place, make sure the waiters know better than to wink and nudge and ask ‘Where did you find this one?’
Many women arrange for a friend to phone them shortly after the date is due to start. Use this as an excuse to get away from a totally unsuitable date. Sometimes, a little white lie is justified: ‘That was my next-door neighbour calling. My bathroom’s flooded and I need to deal with it straight away. I have to go home. Alone!’
Technique
The experts (or ‘sexperts’, as they sometimes dub themselves) tell us that a man makes up his mind about a date in the first 15 seconds.
That isn’t to say that speed-dating is the only option, but it does mean that the successful blind-dater of either gender establishes strong, early eye contact, maintains a friendly, open smile and avoids making any social gaffes in the opening exchange: if one of you leans forward for a chaste kiss on the cheek, don’t try to turn it into a snog.
Make sure you’re doing the right thing. You may both be desperate to see the latest film or play, but that’s not going to give you any chance to talk.
Day trips, walks in the country, sporting events – these are all good ideas for dates when you know each other, and what activities you have in common.
A meal is a good way to get to know each other. Lunch means you can see what each other looks like in daylight, and if you’re at work gives you a time-limit and a good excuse when it’s time to leave.
Dinner, perhaps with a drink beforehand to break the ice, gives you both the chance to relax and unwind. (Too much to drink, on the other hand, is usually a short-cut to your first date also being your last!)
Some more tips
Dress appropriately for the occasion; many a blind date has been spoiled when one person turns up in evening wear and the other in jeans.
Presents and flowers are usually over the top, though if things are going well, and you see a flower-seller, a single rose will confirm your interest!
If you have to smoke, check first with your date. And if they don’t smoke, they probably won’t take smoke blown in their eyes as a seductive come-on.
Being a good listener is attractive, so show interest in your partner. But remember, they want to know a bit about you as well. If you say nothing, they won’t know what to make of you.
Don’t expect the earth to move on a first date – but if there’s no chemistry there, don’t push it. It just wasn’t meant to be.
The date doesn’t finish when you say ‘goodbye’. Send a brief text message to say thanks for the date, and perhaps a message to let your date know you’ve got home safely.
And the rest? That’s up to you and your date. If you’re lucky, all these tips for a blind date that you’ve learned and put to good use will never be needed again. You’ll be needing tips for a second date instead.
