First Date Conversation

Preparation

Before you go out, have a rough mental plan of what you want to talk about. Brush up on current affairs and show business news by flicking through the day’s newspapers, and perhaps even make a note of your ideas, which you can review on the way to your date, but make sure you keep it hidden once you’re there.

Remember that it won’t just be you who’s nervous; your date will probably be suffering from butterflies, too. So they will welcome some small talk at the beginning and it will help you relax a little in each other’s company.

Fill the first few minutes by talking about each other’s day and journey, where you both live and come from, what you do for a living and in your spare time, and such topics. People find it easy to talk about themselves – and they like people who want to know about them.

If you’re eating, you can discuss the menu, the choice of wine and your favourite restaurants.

Give complements

Compliment your date on how they are dressed. Even if you don’t like everything they're wearing, there will almost certainly be at least one thing you can focus on.

Offer the occasional light compliment throughout the date, but don’t overdo the flattery or you risk coming across as creepy.

Sell yourself

A first date is all about selling yourself, so try to be positive and confident – without being cocky. Sometimes you might start on a light-hearted subject that will lead into darker territory – so always be aware of what you’re saying and don’t get carried away. Try to strike a balance between listening to your date and talking yourself.

As the conversation builds don’t be afraid to discuss serious issues, but steer clear of anything obviously contentious – politics and religion, for example.

In fact, keeping things on an even keel has a lot to do with what you don't talk about, rather than subjects that you must cover.

First date don'ts

Talking about sex is a no-no – it’s sleazy and will make your date uncomfortable. You should also avoid in-depth discussions about ex-partners and break-ups, or anything too intimate.

Don’t boast – no one likes a braggart – and make sure that don’t get caught in a lie – it will cast you in a very bad light.

It’s important that you don’t appear to be making plans together. Arranging too meet up again is fine but it will seem needy if you discuss how many children you’d like or your idea of the perfect wedding.

If you really don’t think you can cope with one-on-one conversation for an extended period of time, you could arrange for your date to be a casual affair in a group, easing the pressure a bit. That way you’ll learn more about your date and feel confident to be alone with them next time.

For more information, see the UK Net Guide features, Guide to a Successful First Date, The Dos and Don’ts of Blind Dating, and Flirting with Body Language.