First Date Conversation
A first date is usually a nerve-racking occasion, and to be expected to keep the conversation flowing amiably throughout the event can seem like an almost impossible task.
However, it really isn’t as difficult as it seems – especially with the help of a little preparation.
Before you go out, have a rough mental plan of what you want to talk about. Brush up on current affairs and showbusiness news by flicking through the day’s newspapers, and perhaps even make a note of your ideas, which you can review on the way to your date (but do keep it hidden once you’re there).
It won’t just be you who’s nervous. Your date will probably be suffering from butterflies in his or her tummy, too. So, he or she will welcome some small talk at the beginning. It will help both of you to relax a little in each other’s company.
Fill the first few minutes by talking about each other’s day and journey, where you both live and come from, what you do for a living and in your spare time, and such topics. People find it easy to talk about themselves – and they like people who want to know about them.
If you’re eating, you can discuss the menu, the choice of wine and so on.
Compliment your date on how they are dressed. Even if you don’t like most of what they are wearing there almost certainly will be at least one thing that you can focus on.
Offer the occasional light compliment throughout the date, but don’t overdo the flattery because it will seem creepy.
A first date is all about selling yourself. So be positive and confident – they are attractive attitudes. Sometimes you might start on a light-hearted subject that will lead into darker territory – so always be aware of what you’re saying and don’t get carried away. It’s best to be fairly brief, but not monosyllabic – and don’t criticise people (not even your boss!).
As the conversation builds don’t be afraid to discuss serious issues, but steer clear of anything obviously contentious – politics and religion, for example.
In fact, keeping things on an even keel has a lot to do with what you don't talk about, rather than subjects that you must cover.
Talking about sex is a no-no – it’s sleazy, and most single women in particular will have had their fill of men’s innuendos and hints about their prowess. A chap who avoids topics of a carnal nature will appear classy and not make his date uncomfortable.
Ex-partners and break-ups are off limits, too (except perhaps, in passing), as are intimate secrets.
Don’t boast - no one likes a braggart – and don’t get caught in a lie.
It’s important that you don’t appear to be making plans together. It will seem needy if you discuss how many children you’d like or your idea of the perfect wedding.
Most importantly on a first date, listen at least as much as you talk, allowing your date to say his or her piece to someone who appears interested in them. If you do all the talking then you’re unlikely to secure that vital second date.
If you really don’t think you can cope with one-on-one conversation for an extended period of time, you could arrange for your date to be a casual affair in a group. That way you’ll learn more about your date and feel confident to be alone with him or her next time.
For more information, see the UK Net Guide features, Guide to a Successful First Date, The Dos and Don’ts of Blind Dating, and Flirting with Body Language.
