Five steps to mending a broken heart
It's over. You've tried, you've cried, but ultimately, you've had to accept that this relationship isn't going to end in cheesy sunsets, happily ever afters and trips to Ikea. Instead, you're facing the painful scenario of lonely Sunday nights in – and if you're really unlucky, splitting up the CD collection. Whether he's dumped you, you've dumped him or the feeling was sadly mutual, one thing is certain: it hurts.
- Find a shoulder to cry on. Sad as it may be, crying is the first step to recovery – but don't do it alone. Find a friend with a sympathetic ear – or several, depending on their patience. And yes, copious amounts of Haagen Dazs really does numb the pain.
- Make some changes. If losing weight, a new hair cut or a change of scenery will make you feel better, then sign up to the gym, head to the hairdressers or spend a long weekend away with friends.
However, you should avoid making drastic changes to your life when you're feeling emotional – you might regret them later. - Start acting like a singleton. You're newly single and you need to start acting it. Now is the time to take advantage of all the opportunities you ignored when you were coupled up, whether it was because you were too busy or your partner didn’t share your interests.
She hated dancing? Round up your mates and head straight down to the Ministry of Sound for some dance floor action. He couldn't stand the cinema? Get yourself a season pass and treat yourself to some escapist action. - Indulge in some company. While your girlfriends or boy mates might win hands down when it comes to listening to your woes, giving advice and slagging off your ex, there are times when a few complements from a member of the opposite sex – without any pressure – can be worth a thousand reassurances from friends.
- Move on – but only when you're ready. There's nothing worse than a rebound relationship to send you plunging back into the depths of self pity and feelings of worthlessness. Your judgement is likely to be blurred and you'll make bad choices if you rush into a new relationship.
Scary as being single may be, taking time to regroup and readjust is a crucial part of the recovery process. Having said that, there's no harm in keeping your eyes open – after all, you've been freed from a relationship that wasn't working so you can find one that will. Happy hunting!
14/01/2010
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