Flirting with Body Language

But relying on a string of carefully polished chat-up lines and witticisms is not the best route to romance. Only seven per cent of the lasting impression you will make with a potential conquest is through what you say.

Slightly more important is the way you deliver your words. Thirty-eight percent of your success relies on the tone, speed and inflection of your voice.

However, body language is the most crucial aspect of flirting, making up the remaining fifty-five percent of the impression you make on others. You need to get it right straight away because people are unlikely to stick around if you give off the wrong signals to begin with.

The approach

Even as you approach a person you want to talk to, they are forming an opinion of you through the way you walk and stand. This is partly a snap judgement based on instinct, and partly because facets of your personality are evident through your gait and posture. This can make up eighty percent of a first impression of you.

Eyes

In many ways, the eyes are the key to flirting. Holding eye contact for longer than normal is a way to suggest intimacy and attraction, while the more a person finds you appealing the more they will look at your mouth, as if fantasising about kissing you.

Raising the eyebrows is widely regarded as a sure-fire and widely recognised indication of attraction. But you have to be quick to spot it – the action takes only one fifth of a second. So be on the lookout, and try to extend the length of your own eyebrow flash to better indicate your interest in the other person.

If someone likes the look of you, their pupils will dilate and their blinking rate will increase. To test if someone likes you, increase your own rate of blinking. A person who’s interested will subconsciously match the speed your eyelids are moving up and down.

Mirroring and pointing

Mirroring is the ultimate in wordless flirting, and the best way to establish a shared mood and level of understanding between you and the person to whom you are talking. The trick is to shadow someone’s movements without mimicking. If they lean back, you lean forwards. If they pick up their drink, you do the same. But be sure to wait about 30 seconds before following the other person’s gestures.

Someone who finds you appealing will unconsciously point his or her feet and hands at you. Even when you aren’t making that all-important eye contact with a person, point your body towards them and on some level they will understand your attraction.

Clusters of behaviour

When you are regarding a person’s body language, it is important that you look for clusters of behaviour and don’t read too much into single actions. For instance, a person with their arms folded and their lips pursed is likely to be on the defensive, but someone with just their arms crossed may simply be cold or be covering a stain on their shirt.

Experts suggest that you spot at least four signals before deciding that a person is interested in you. (Your romantic target will probably be doing the same to you.)