Guide to Dating Guides
Bookshop shelves are overflowing with self-help guides on how to become more successful in love. Here UK Net Guide profiles the most talked-about dating books. It’s up to you to find out if they work.
The Rules – Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr Right
Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider (Warner, £8.99)
Aimed at women who were keen to meet a man, date him and marry him, the methods described in The Rules are controversial.
This book boils down to ‘treating him mean to keep him keen’. For example, if your man phones later in the week than Wednesday to ask you on a date at the weekend, you must refuse. He must always pay when he takes you out. You must never move in with him until he marries you.
The authors suggest you spark your man’s interest by spending great care putting on your makeup before you meet him. Grow your hair long and “become a woman like no other”. If you suffer from low self-esteem, get a nose job.
Apparently, a strong-minded woman is a turn-off for men, so you must never appear more intelligent than him.
More than two million copies of this book have been sold around the world.
The Game: Undercover in the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
Neil Strauss (Canongate, £16.99)
Journalist Neil Strauss has caused a storm by claiming that he has a chat-up technique so perfect that no woman can resist him. That he is 5ft 6in and bald, makes this quite a statement, he admits.
He claims that while living in LA he transformed himself from a tongue-tied loser-in-love into a modern Casanova by living with a group of successful seducers and then copying and refining their techniques.
These boil down to one simple rule: when you see a woman you are attracted to, you ignore her but win over her friends – especially the men.
If the woman is particularly attractive, you must intrigue her by pretending to be unaffected by her charm. To do this, you apply ‘the neg’; neither a compliment nor insult, it’s an accidental insult or backhanded compliment.
The purpose of the ‘neg’ is to lower a woman's self-esteem while actively displaying a lack of interest in her - by telling her she has lipstick on her teeth, for example. The ‘neg’, according to Strauss, is a way of throwing a woman off balance… but into your arms later.
Another trick Strauss claims works is 'peacock theory’. In order to attract the most desirable female of the species, it is necessary to stand out in a flashy and colourful way - a garish hat and jewellery that lights up in the dark.
Everything I Know About Men I Learnt From My Dog
Clare Staples (Crombie Jardine Publishing, £9.99)
A man is like a dog, according to Staples; he can be trained to be a more desirable partner.
The author goes on to say that both dogs and men respond well to boundaries, and it's up to you to set them. But beware, men don't respond to being trained as such, as it seems like nagging.
So, the key to success is to change your own behaviour so that both your man and your dog will respect you. The secret ingredient is confidence. It's irresistible, intoxicating and hugely attractive to both men and mutts. If you don't feel confident, act as if you do and you will soon feel it.
Men and dogs have the uncanny ability to smell fear or desperation, and both will instinctively take advantage of it when they sense it in you.
According to Staples, set the rules of your relationship early on. Things like calling when he says he will, paying for your dates, taking you out to romantic places. Teach him the requirements of your relationship, and don't reward him with anything unless he has learned these simple rules.
