By Trevor Davis

Both the root of all evil and the apparent key to fulfilling the lifelong dreams of ABBA, money's a tricky issue as it is. But when it comes to relationships, there's a pressure cooker full of conflict just waiting to go off as soon as money enters the equation. How much is too much? Who's responsible for picking up the tab at dinner? Should you have a joint bank account? It's a list that goes on and on, and can often be the tipping point for the beginning of the end of your stay in coupledom.

Paul McCartney might have sung "money can't buy me love", but his divorce dispute with Heather Mills would have been resolved a lot quicker if his massive fortune wasn't just a little bit important. Similarly, footage of a shirtless Jack Nicholson surrounded by nubile young blondes on a yacht in the South of France, with his man boobs proudly on display, revealed just how appealing a healthy bank balance can be. Now, fair enough, Jack's extremely cool, and quite the charmer reputedly, but even so, I'd be willing to bet that the same girls wouldn't go near his aging torso if he were penniless.

But even as the workplace grows increasingly equal, and men and women begin to share a similar financial footing, there's still a very definite sense that the male half of a partnership has at least some financial responsibility. I remember a long-ago conversation with an ex, who'd asked how I'd feel if she was earning more than me - would I be emasculated, feel undermined? My immediate answer was a denial, but with the benefit of hindsight, I can certainly see that it could've caused some problems. For one, how can a couple with a wage imbalance really judge their spending? If one of the pair can afford a significantly more expensive car/holiday/house than the other, there's a definite shift in the balance of power, whether you like it or not. And as Pat Benatar so memorably sang, Love Is A Battlefield. You just can't afford to kick off the contest with one hand tied behind your back.

Unless it's not that black and white. According to one Aussie relationship guru, it really is the thought that counts. Dr Clio Cresswell's said: "You can actually show mathematically that it's best for the guy to give inconsequential gifts that have no material value at the end, like a dinner or a romantic walk on the beach," (seemingly forgetting that one actually has to pay for dinner in a restaurant, the owners tend to prefer that), and I reckon she's onto something.

I've been chastised my friends in the past for spending too much on a girl, even if it put me in financial difficulty, but I'd always ignored that advice - splashing a bit of cash seemed like the gentlemanly, chivalric thing to do, equality be damned.

But maybe there's a much healthier way of dealing with it - open the door, walk on the outside of the pavement, hold the chair, do the gentlemanly things, of course. But you needn't go broke. Putting some thought into a gift, or just taking the time to look away from the football to actually show your loved one some attention will work just as well as expensive jewellery or slap-up meals.

That said, I'll still always pay for dinner. It's just the done thing, isn't it?