By Trevor Davies


As my weekly copy of The Socialist Worker fell through the letterbox this morning and I yet again wondered at the unimpressive pence to page ratio, I realised not for the first time the perils of feigning an interest in something you normally wouldn't give a second thought to just to impress a member of the opposite sex.

Yes, I was silly to sign up hoping that the lady in red would take the whole 'make love not war' thing literally; silly, but not alone in my error.

Most of my friends have been guilty of the same naivety over the years, attending anything from dance to acupuncture classes or even reading up on their star signs, all because a certain somebody held a genuine interest in these things.

It wouldn't come at all as a surprise to me if it turned out that a sizeable number of the Frenchmen who signed up for the Hundred Years War had little more than a passing interest in Catholic doctrine but rather thought that Joan of Arc - who no doubt looked quite fetching in chainmail - would perhaps fancy a drink once all the fighting and praying was finished for the day.

It's all too easy to sigh and wonder what fools we are as men, but both sexes are equally as guilty of this pretence.

Just look at the sheer number of bored female faces in a sports crowd or watch an otherwise intelligent and attractive woman try and laugh along to a joke about German engineering in the studio audience of Top Gear.

Of course, shared interests are the foundations of many a successful relationship and taking advantage of your hobbies should be seen as one of the best ways to find a date, but this rule only works when there is no pretence.

As with most things when trying to attract somebody, it can be tempting to bend the truth a little, or else simply lie right out, whether it be borrowing a friend's sports car, failing to mention that you still live with your parents or claiming that, yes, you have always been an avid campanologist.

However, lying about an interest or hobby is perhaps the most dangerous of all as it could go undetected for years, leaving you grow bitter and resentful.

A date can find out soon enough whether you do indeed bear a striking resemblance to a movie star or earn a big salary, but it is possible to keep up the pretence of liking something way beyond the first few dates.

The best-case scenario is that your scepticism wears down over time to be replaced by genuine enthusiasm, but more likely you will harbour long-standing regret that you weren't truthful in the first place, knowing full well that once a certain point is passed, there can be no going back and saying "Actually, dear, about that cross-stitch seminar tomorrow night…"

Like it or not, honesty really is the best policy for forging a meaningful relationship.

For anything else, however, a little imagination can be understandable and often the only way in.

Plus, you have lots of souvenirs which to show your disgusted grandchildren. Viva la Revolucion, Comrades.