When a Relationship Ends

Relationships can be difficult at the best of times, but when they end they can be even harder. Finding the best way to tell your partner that it is over can be just as traumatising as coming to terms with the break up itself.

If you have not finalised the break up and are undergoing a period of separation, there may be a few things that you need to consider. For example are you married and wishing to divorce, are there any children involved and if so, who will be gaining custody.

The steps that have to be taken and the length of time that it takes to sort out the details of a break up depends on the individual case. As well as having to deal with the emotional impact, there are the financial and practical implications that need to be taken care of. One of the most basic steps is telling people.

Making the Break up Public

This does not mean that you have to put out a public announcement, it is just a case of letting the relevant people know that you are no longer together. If you are married then this will make more sense since marriage often entails a name change. Some of the practical jobs include the following:

• Contacting the council - they need to know of any changes in circumstances for council tax and the electoral register information.
• Contacting the local benefits office - if you claim benefits the status is affected by the change in income a divorce may bring.
• Informing your mortgage lender - if couples split up their mortgage repayments will be affected especially if the income becomes jeopardised.
• Contacting your bank - if you have a joint bank account that needs one of the parties terminating, then you must let your bank know your intentions.
• Telling the utilities providers - the water, gas and electricity boards need to know if the bill payer changes.
• Telling your doctor - if you or your children move away as a result of split then you will no longer be registered with the catchment area that your doctor’s practice serves. This also applies to dentists and other healthcare practices.
• Informing schools - if you have children who are at school, their teachers must be informed so that they can anticipate a possible move of school.

Doing Things Legally

Once you have contacted the relevant people who will be able to sort out the more practical issues. You will no doubt have begun legal proceedings. If you are applying for a divorce, you will need to contact solicitor who will get the ball rolling.

If you are cohabiting partners that have never been married you do not have to get a formal / legal finalisation. It does however make sense that all the practical details need to be sorted out as outlined in the section above.

Married couples have a few options when it comes to ending the marriage. They can either have an informal separation, which means that the couple can come to an arrangement between themselves – no legal procedures have to be followed and court can be avoided. Other options include getting a separation agreement, which is a written agreement that states the couple no longer wish to live together. It outlines what they intend to do with finances, children etc. Of course the most obvious course of action when a relationship breaks down is to get divorced.