Guy Gossip

By Catherine Portland

Throughout the centuries, gossip has been seen as a solely female pursuit, indulged in while the men were out slaying animals for the evening meal or playing on the play station, depending what era you are talking about.

But new research has revealed that men love to gossip just as much about their female counterparts, despite giving the impression that they can't stand women who chat about what's going on in their lives.

I think men often write off gossiping simply because of the connotations the word carries. They perceive it as something mindless, even ridiculous and certainly trivial, but as the author of this research so wisely says, "gossip is no idle chatter: it has clear functions".

She has a good point. The conversations I have that men would describe as trifling 'gossip' are in fact the most important - they are the ones in which I share with my closest friends the most important issues in my life, as well as obviously discussing our friends' most important issues.

But I don't think I have ever really got the impression that men do gossip together. Thinking about this, I realised that it is just the way they frame it. They call it 'banter' or some other name which they feel gives it a more jokey, masculine and less emotional feel. That's right, call it banter and you are king of the lads.

At the same time, they dub EVERYTHING that women discuss together as gossip. Oh yes, up on their high horses again.

Let's face it though guys. Gossiping is not something to be afraid of. In fact, it's the most natural thing in the world; it's a form of bonding; a great way to get to know your friends better and get an outside opinion on your love life. While guys might less practiced at the art of such discussion, it is really what makes the world go round.

To me, it seems that gossip breaks down barriers, the kind of barriers that only female friends overcome - like being able to cry in front of each other or discuss every detail of a conversation, word-for-word, glance-for-glance.

Oh yes, gossip represents so much about your relationship with someone and that guys don't get in on the act in their groups of male friends, without it consisting of some kind of testosterone battle, shows that their relationships are deeply flawed.

Indeed, the survey reveals that, along with discussing the fairer sex, men's gossip is most likely to focus around their earnings.

Come on guys, gossip should not be a competition, but more a meeting of minds; a chance to get an outside opinion about a person who has occupied your thoughts, not a chance to boast.

Instead it seems that men turn to their female friends for a bit of proper downtime, when they can relax and pick apart their personal relationships.

I have had various male friends who got in touch with me when they needed to have some girl time and I was always more than willing to help them get in touch with their feminine side - something it just isn't so easy to do with your male friends, how ever well you know them.

'Tis a sorry state of affairs that half of the population cannot have a good old heart to heart within feeling compromised or embarrassed. It seems like just another of the long list of reasons why it's so much better to be a woman.

But guys, if you ever feel like you need to chat about what's going on in your life, go and bend the ear of a woman. She will readily embrace every detail you've got to divulge, because that's what friends are for.