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The trouble with having a school teacher for a girlfriend is that your holidays must coincide with those of her school, meaning prices are expensive and airports and resorts are full of the very children she is escaping and you have no time for in the first place. So it was with some surprise that we found ourselves able to grab a cheap last minute deal last Easter and head off for a week of snowboarding in the Italian Dolomites, with very few children to be seen.

Continuing on the budgeting theme, it had been decided that rather than pay for lessons, it would be down to me, with my season of snowboarding experience behind me, to provide my girlfriend's tuition. The very first morning at our resort of Passo Tonale proved what a bad idea this was, because as we got off the chair lift and I found that I couldn't stand up. Whatever balance I had had six years ago had apparently evaporated. Even once I found it possible to stay standing up while I moved I was still failing to remain upright when it came to turning and I was rendered helpless to instruct Susie for at least the first half an hour.

Slowly something seemed to come back to me and I at last began to feel like my old self and could get down to the bottom of the short run without falling on my arse. While this performance had been going on, Susie had been making some strides and, despite a couple of mishaps with skiers who had got too close for her liking, had been making it down the mountain without too many falls and without any assistance from myself.

Passo Tonale is well above the snowline, making it perfect for late season skiing when snow can be scarce in lower resorts, but meaning that the landscape is pretty one dimensional. However, the lifts and slopes were quiet and I was remembering just why I loved snowboarding.

The end of the first day's riding left us both extremely sore and a night sampling the town's limited but cheap après ski had not helped matters. Susie was almost completely immobile during the second morning. However, by the afternoon she was back in the game and was linking her turns like a pro while I shouted encouragement.

With Susie progressing and my old skills returning, so much so that I managed to land on audacious 180, complete with eyes closed on the fifth morning, we thought we would hit the snowboarder cross course on the final afternoon for a spot of one-on-one competition. While the television makes this event look extremely fun and easy, believe me it is not. The turns are tight and the jumps far bigger than you would wish. I was brave and especially foolish and, leading within sight of the finishing line, and much like that American Olympian, attempted to get airborne off the last kicker only to find myself hurtling through the air with no ability to stop. I found myself off over the safety barriers and head first in to a snow pile, leaving Susie to take the spoils. Unnerved, I had to be fortified with a glass or two of local wine and, I am glad to report, was none the worse for my mishap, although a little chastened by the whole experience.

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