English to be named - World Language

It’s already been stated that at least 25 percent of the world understands, or can get by on basic English, as of today, the world language organisation, WLO, have declared that by 2050 all countries need to be speaking English.

As of 2017 there are already 67 sovereign states and 27 non- sovereign states where English is the official language, most of these stems from the British Empire. It is thought that the WLO saw the unshackling of the EU from around the UK’s neck as the moment in time that the Brits can impose their language across the globe.

The BBC has long been thought to be one of the major players in this plan with their world service serving up English to anywhere that needs an extra free TV channel, discussed as “world news”.

British Government Planning this for years

The British government is fully aware of the plan and already spends billions on its implementation under the umbellar “foreign aid” – an unnamed spokesperson was said to be delighted and said that there were never any serious alternatives, it’s not like FIFA where the outcome was dependent upon who bribed and paid the most.

The federation of translators was opposed to the move by their members, however their complaint wasn’t reviewed by the WLO as it received in Italian, and no one at the WLO could understand it. A standoff then happened as the WLO refused to pay the federation of translators to translate it into English.

Russia so far have maintained a dignified silence but KGB sources are rumoured to have asked Rumpole Silkskin, head of policy at WLO, for a meeting. The noises were that Russia had a master plan but Putin wasn’t keen; as the world would be able to understand what the Russians were saying to each other, as Putin’s long term plan is to retire in London, he was said to be secretly pleased.

It is rumoured that China is considering their response, they have allowed English schools that teach English to the very young upwards to grow experientially over the last few years, the main company exploiting this is run my Michael Mouse, whose Disney group have established themselves over the past 20 years.

Finally Nigel Farage is delighted as he will have grounds to divorce his German speaking wife on unreasonable behaviour “not speaking English to him” She apparently, constantly, says to him “Sie sind ein faschistisches, homophobes Schwein” with the hope one day he may actually translate it, however he feels she will be forced to say it all in English, sadly with 2050 the agreed date he may already be dead by then, so someone may want to translate it for him before then!


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